your age is your age

I think our parents, and sometimes even society as a whole, forgets that we live in a different time. They don’t realize how the choices they made in raising us greatly altered our paths.

Our parents married younger and had children at younger. Similar to what their parents did. But educational opportunities were beginning to grow in that era so many of our parents had to juggle full-fledged families while they were still college students, which is an incredible thing to attempt. But they did it to honor their parents and further themselves. And, building on their experiences, they often encouraged us to focus education and just trusted that “family comes later”. They told us to take our time and explore life because "family would come later". But they didn't realize just how heavy those words would lay. And now you have a new generation of people who are getting married even later and starting families much later. People like you and I.

So, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re not the only single 28 year old out there. You are not an anomaly. You’re actually just a person living in the 2nd Tier of “The 20s Marriage Rush”. (The first 20s Marriage Rush happens after undergrad when people have been dating for 2+ years and decide to get married cause… why not, right? The 2nd happens when people are in their late 20s/early 30s because being married and a parent is the “responsible” thing for a 30-something to be). You’ll survive this marriage/parenting rush. Its can only be an agonizing time if you let the negative words of others mar it. If you change your perspective and look at it as a time to celebrate life monuments of dear friends & family, it will be an awesome and joyous time. Also, you probably may not have experienced that Late 20s/Early 30s Divorce Rush yet. There is also the mid-30s Divorce Rush. And… those monsters…. breed humility and gratitude. Remember there are always highs & lows.

This is one of my favorite quotes. Something I tend to go back to whenever doubt, anxiety, and external pressure try to weigh down on me.

"…but what i really mean to say is that I hope you aren’t held back because of a number. and that you don’t rush into things because it feels like time is slipping by. i hope you do what’s right for you. hold on. slow down. and breathe in. your age is your age. but more importantly, your life is your life. don’t change your journey so that it matches someone else's. we need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. revel in the differences. and enjoy where you are. here. right here.” 

- because i’m a twentysomething

so, take your time. live your life. learn to love yourself and love where you are right now. spend more time investing in your friendships and express your love there. spend time with your family. your parents are getting older so these moments are precious. do more solo movie trips. try salsa dancing. maybe take that kickboxing class you've always dreamed of. take up photography. shave off your hair. get that passport and go see the world. have adventures.

you are enough. exactly where you are right at this moment. fill yourself with all the love, joy, freedom, and peace of these moments. one day you’ll meet the person you will spend forever with. be sure that you are filled enough with yourself that you actually have something to share with them.

take to time to love yourself now and it will all work out in the end.

xo,

Jana-Lynn

originally posted here
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